A couple things... Multiple Spiritual and one random

I had a dream of taking the Capitol Hill kids to Ukraine. 

It was a weird dream. My fellow Interns were with us too and Melia plus one of the guys who drive the van on Sunday and Thursday. It was the strangest things. I also was in one of the worst moods ever.   I do not know exactly where we were it was like a mix between Donetsk and Kiev. We did scavenger  hunts through the town.

Two things I love. Ukraine and Capitol Hill my heart feels a little torn right now with everything happening in Ukraine but I know in my heart that the outcome will be in God's Glory. For people can make their own decisions but God is in control of the battle. For it is his battle. The only news I will read is things that come directly from one of my close friends from Ukraine or someone who has spoken to one of them. The news just breaks my heart but is in my prayers.

This is the Party Week/Final Week of my internship at Capitol Hill 

This is a painting that I created.
 The borders is quotes from the other interns.
With Happiness is quotes...
(only missing two in that picture)

I am so glad that I got to experience this and I have found my church home finally in the 3 plus years of going to school at OC. This entire school I have been trying to find a church that has a great kids program and I was totally lost. But I have found it. I am also very happy. This week I have been giving out prints of pictures to some of the kids. Mostly I have been giving out my favorite photos of some of the kids. One of the youth guys told me that on his Facebook photos are one I have tagged him in. That made me smile the moment he said might have not been the best place to say it but it did make me smile.

My fellow interns have been great people to learn off and become friends with. I am sad to split up for the school year but its the path that God lays before us. Each of my fellow interns have been a blessing in my life in different ways. Some of the times I learned the most was from my fellow interns from talking in general to the way they talk to the kids when we are trying to discourage them from doing something. That group is the funniest when we are all hanging out.

It is not just the other interns my bosses have also been a huge blessing in my life and I have learned a lot from them as well. The love that they have for the kids and teens in that church is amazing. I hope to learn more as I continue to attend Capitol Hill. They have made wanted me to a better teacher, be healthier, be a better driver, and grow deeper in my walk with God. 

I have a challenge for myself.

I love giving things to people that I love. However the major flaw in my life is that I suck giving to God on Sunday's in the Contribution. So I have challenged myself and I need your help because I have tried to challenge myself before and failed. 

The Challenge is that I am going to carry change with me on every Sunday to give it to whoever I am sitting around and have a little for me to Give back to God.

I also want to do this to teach other kids to give like my parents taught me how to give but I haven't been doing the best job of it. For its one of things we are supposed to do.

Okay the last thing is completely random

I was looking up information on Tree Nut Allergy and ran into the allergen and College life. The reason I looked up is I have said Tree Nut Allergy. That part of my life kind of suck especially if I wanted to become a health nut. Tree Nuts is in almost everything. 

However I came across this video and I dont know why but it struck me funny. I guess it is because of my lack of dating experience but this was informative, a little awkward, and funny.  Have a watch. 

I really cannot believe this summer is coming to a close. I have so much work to do but then its so hard to pack my things and I leave on Monday for Tulsa. 

I need to go to sleep. Good night, wonderful readers. 

Love in Christ, 

Your sister,

Evynn 

Ain't It Fun

At around 4:30 am I woke up and washed my scalp by myself. This is only because I woke up with my dandruff was being annoying and I could not sleep.

The song above haunted me before the summer began because it was almost exactly what I was going to be away from a ton of people I knew. However the reality is not as bad as it seems but I am not completely on my own yet. My mom still financially supports me.

I have gotten very tired of driving by myself but I embrace it with listening to Air 1 on the radio in my car to keep my spirit up and I am always singing along.

When I am work and the kids are there I never feel alone. I am surrounded by those kids who are my favorite kind of medicine.  I still dislike the song Ain't it Fun but I can enjoy it a little more.

Love, Evynn

P.S. I am never alone with God on my side/

Anxiety beats Fear of Missing OUT

Sometimes I really hate my brain... or is it my heart?!?!?!?!

That part of the body that gives you so much grief when you feel anxiety.  There has handful times on this job where i have felt anxious about doing beforehand but when I do it. I am just fine. A lot of times what drives me is the fear of missing something, an inside joke, a memory, or anything at all. Just for an instance, I never wanted to miss the youth events at church. So this made it difficult to see my grandparents.

However some things will knock out that drive. 

I sometimes consider myself an awkward person. That is not something that I pride myself on and when I get into these awkward moods I try to avoid awkward situations. Example if someone is mad at me I would try avoiding that person. Do not make eye contact with the beast (or the person that dislikes you).  I have personal rules for a reason.

This is especially disconcerting when I am in need of human contact and I am knocked out of that drive. Today, I could have done something with some of my friends but I was thrown off by someone in the same general area. This avoidance was not only for my own well being but the well being of others. However I am regretting the decision because of missing out on that great love ones who were there. 

During this Internship, I have learned how to step out of my shell more and more when it comes to teaching and disciplining. I have also learned a little bit more about how not to make promises.

I still dislike the limelight in front of a ton of people i.e. when singing chicky chicky getting called up to the stage or if I am called up for the front to pray for something. I may try to shrink back or stand beside the stage.

In some cases with people that dislike me tend to glare and gives me more limelight than I want. There has been times when I have been Passive Aggressive and just go and where the dislikers are.

I pray for guidance on these things and pray that I won't let fear or anxiety rule my life for people will not like me in the future. I might have to even work with some.  

In other news I have finished reading my copy of When Helping Hurts. 

So it is up for borrowing if you want to read it. I highly recommended it. It is one that I am going to be reading now and again. Just let me know in the comments below.

Love,
Evynn

Living alone

I am so very tired, emotionally tired of being alone. My job is amazing and I love all my kids. God is teaching me things about myself and life that I want to live. 

But thing I know for sure is I can never live alone or be by myself for a long period of time. I can last longer than I used to but it drains me and I become depressed. Bad things happen when I am alone. 

Examples:

• Summer 2010 death of Timothy McGee, my first car and my impala. Driving the day after I got back from a conifer mission trip. I limped away with a right sprained ankle and several bruises. 
• Fall 2012 A slip down the stairs in the library staircase landing my left in a boot and my right foot majorly bruised and a toe or two broken. 

While reading Gary Chapman 5 love languages, I learned that two of my stronger love languages was quality time and gifts. So I am house sitting/ my temporary roommate is gone. In the time she is gone I have been traveling from house to MRCC to pick up kids then to C'HILL. Feeling in need for human contact like a child again. 

So your thoughts should I live alone?