May I not be silenced in speaking about my Lord.

May I not be silenced in speaking about my Lord.

There is a lot of things that are going through my mind tonight as I start to type this out. I have been feeling a need to write for a while but did not know exactly what to say. However today seemed to set me over the edge. Words pressed to my heart seemed to be needing to expressed and heard.

Let me lay down some context what is happening in my life right now. I am recently graduated from Oklahoma Christian with a Mission major. Currently, I am living at home in Broken Arrow. I am working at the Mothers day/ Preschool at my home church in BA. This time in Broken Arrow is temporary I am training to go into the mission field every week on Wednesday nights in Edmond. My mission field is going to Oklahoma City or the south-side of OKC at Capitol Hill Church of Christ. if you have been around me you may have heard me talk about it. Part of it is that I have to raise money and that makes me scared. This time is like transition for me and it makes my anxious heart a little more anxious.

Context aside there is things that happened over last week that confirm and show God goodness. Last Wednesday with the crazy weather in Tulsa. I could not just come back after my training session like normal and had to stay the night and drive back in the morning. With a pain and craziness becomes a blessing. When I could not drive back I got to stay for class at Memorial Road, “Plugged in” class, I got to eat Hideaway with some of my Capitol Hill people. It was nice time for fun and fellowship with my brothers and sisters in Christ. I also got to see and stay with one of my other friends and chat with her. That was a great refresher of people I have missed.

Today, Sunday I finally got to see Brandon and Katie Price for the first time in almost maybe 3 years because I missed them last time they were in the states. Brandon taught the Sunday morning sermon and it was very convicting. He also read one of my favorite passages (Philippians 4:4-7). During this time he was talking about peace.  In having this peace means not to worry or be anxious. There are parts of his sermon that brought tears to my eyes because of belief in other people in our God. It makes me question my own faith for him to provide for the support I need.

Tonight there was two different things that made me write this blog post tonight. The first thing is one of the guys from EEM. I have met this guy at OC Lectureships and preacher luncheons and discussed Ukraine. I have got many of Ukraine maps on their give the bible to everyone pledges to hang on my wall for my shrine to Ukraine. When he spoke it made my Ukrainian part of my heart happy but sad because I miss being there. I trust God and that he will bring me back when the time is right. There is something I seem to forget that God provides and opens people hearts. I have been having a back a forth battle having faith that God will provide the money for things that He has set to be done.

The last thing, something that I choose to do for myself. After church I went to see God’s Not Dead 2. Oh How I begged for you all to see it. It reaffirming hope that I know that God is good all the time and All the time is God. Some of the words I can not think of words to say but my brain is tired. There is just a lot of things that this week has confirmed my faith on. In the movie also had mulitiple times that will remind you that you need to have something that you can tell people about why you believe what you believe. 

The lower Satan pulls you down, Have faith that God will lift you for HIS GLORY twice as far.
Let our lives be testament and play part in His ultimate story.
Good Night brothers and sisters,
Love,
Evynn

Rejoice, Lord is near, Give thanksgiving, and peace of God

“4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. 5 Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. 6 Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:4-7

I am done with college. I graduated. Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. God is good. I am back at home for a while.  If you have a job to be done I would happy to help for a small fee. We all have something to rejoice in. Along with graduating I know what I am going to do with two years of my life. However I don't know when I will get to start. I have been commissioned to serve the Capitol Hill Church of Christ as an intern through the HIM program. HIM stands for Helpers in Mission. It's much like Sunset AIM program but it's for after you graduate. This is a mission outreach from Memorial Road Church of Christ, who pays for 40% of the support. I am so excited for the opportunity however since it's a mission internship there is fundraising for support. Fundraising is not my strong suit. I will be in Tulsa for awhile so if you need any odd jobs done I am available. 

I have a job. Let your gentleness be known to everyone. Lord is near.  I have been described as gentle in moments in my life. However there are times that I know I that I am not gentle. Life at Capitol Hill I have met some of the gentle souls, sisters in Christ that I know. I have already only been gone for a little over a week and I miss them. There is something about Capitol Hill that gets under my skin and I can feel the LORD IS NEAR. I cannot pinpoint the exact moment when I can feel the presence strongest.  I don't know if it's when we are singing and a group of kids will repeat the last word of each line to certain songs, making praise their's. Or seeing the Grandmas' bring thier car loads of grandchildren to church and showing them the joy of the Lord. Or the moments I see strong women be gentle when they are talking to the kids about their choices and behaviors. Let your gentleness be known. In Star Wars Yoda has a line that I feel similar to how I feel about Capitol Hill, "The Force is strong in this one. " 

I come from a line of worriers.  Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. If you have ever known me for a long period of time you may have seen me freak out on an occasion. There was a time in my life where I started to get panic attacks. I can remember two imes that they were very severe. The first was a week or so before I was supposed to take a month long trip to Japan and China. My anxiety brought me to realization that kind i could not go. I had a slight moments where I somewhere I knew that I could not go. I did not go and I owe my mother three money she spent on the trip . Second, panic attack I had the night before I broke up with my ex. I am not proud of my choices of how I did that but I was an emotional and spiritual wreck. I believe that God will use you in any situation but I also believe He will let you know if you are not fulfilling for the purpose he has for you. After those two instances of that summer, I had a beautiful summer and I learned that I cannot rush into anything. I also learned that I am a relational person. Everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  At the end of the summer I was part of my churches Dramatime for VBS. It was the story of Jesus, Jesus is Lord. The group became close over the month or so. The story of Jesus is very powerful and I learned more watching it acted out. I was thankful them and the relationship I built. I still worry however I have been trying to take it to God more. 

I can finally read for fun again. No more chapters upon chapters for school such calming peace. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. The first book I picked up is  Kisses from Katie, it's about  a beautiful sister who was called to Uganda and how God has blessed her life since she moved. I am about halfway through her book and it is such a large encouragement to me who is going to start on her own journey of faith. Not only does she move to Uganda and worked with the children there she also has been in the process of adopting thirteen little girls. At a very young age I knew that it was on my heart to adopt and foster. Reading gives me such peace this sister is only two years older and God has used her for so much. Have you ever read a book and immediately you think of others you want to recommend it to? That is how I feel reading this book. 

This passage has become something that is part of my life in each aspects. Much peace, love and prayers, brothers and sisters. Enjoy the rest of your holiday weekend. Keep me in your prayers. 

Your sister, 

Evynn 

Snow melting thy heart

The last month has been insane but new revelations about myself, my relationship with God, and others around me. It all started January 29th when on my way to church I got in accident. By events that are now a little more fuzzy now. I had rear ended the person in front of me while sitting in traffic on I-235. When I hit the person in front of me, that car preceded to hit the car in front of them. The location that I had the wreck was so close to my destination that the frustration was numbing.

Earlier that day, I had not been feeling well and the only comfort that i had was that I soon would be at Capitol Hill. That has become my home church since the summer. My home church that is filled with amazing amount of kids, people who love to love,  always feel free to give you love when needed, and those who will laugh with you when you or they do something stupid.

While I was sitting in my car trying to stay calm and praying for the Lord to guide in what I should do. Air1 was playing in the background for a while after my car was turned off. I waited for a long time and watched the cars pass by counting the vans I recognized. Wanting nothing more than to just leave and go to church. Right before church started I got the all clear to leave. I got back on the road. My car was drivable thankfully.

I got to the church while they were ending the song and started the prayer. I walked to a Sister I texted while I was waiting in the car that I need a hug. When she hugged me, that is when the tears started. She pulled me into the clinic and let me explain when I calmed down. While I was trying to pull myself together to go teach my class. She offered and taught my class that night.While I spent the day in the clinic listening and talking. There was two teens, who I love dearly, they stopped and hugged me. I could not wait to get to church and it was what I need that day, the encouragement I needed.

 ^"9 For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. ¹⁰ He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him. ¹¹ Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." 1 Thessalonians 5:9-11
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Since that night to February 16, I had been slowly not driving my car very much. I got a ride once or twice to Capitol Hill. Most of the damage to my car was cosmetic damage aside from not able to (just in case) turning on the a/c or heat *Shiver*. I was trying to time it just right to get my car in. I also signed up to be part time in Spring Sing.  :D On the night before I would have to drop off my car ice rained down from the sky while I watched the championship of the clubs basketball. It was a fun night. I had to leave my car put for the night because the ice was not budging. I got a ride back to the apartments.

The next morning while I was hoping we would have classes because I had a test that I would have liked to drive my car to in the morning. School got cancelled. I got my car and drove it very carefully off the parking lot that was only missing the ice skaters practicing for the Olympics from the sheet of ice across it. I drove around a little getting food and basking in the last few hours with my car and the freedom to drive. I feel the need to 'clarify' that I love my car.  Eric Beels (named after the computer geek on NCIS: LA) is my baby and boyfriend. He has also been nicknamed Eric the Hedge Hog by little brother. 

I finally dropped off my car. One of my really good friends/sister picked me up and we went to work on my part time costume. We got the box and made plans to work on it more the next day. (I will post a picture later).

Two days later, in a quick decision I decided to try Lent this year and see what would happen. Another clarification, I have never been into this and have never tried it but I thought it would be a nice journey of self discovery. I almost gave up in the beginning (mostly from forgetfulness) but it has become a nice exploration of faith and so far it has increased my prayer life. I also only have cheated once.

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In this exploration of giving something up for Lent has pointed something else to me, that has combined with my other thing of Lent. The new one was guys. It was not just the much of dating guys but more in the house of liking them. Satan has got me good with that one before.



Over the last few weeks some one else has been Satan's tool of trying to get me to stray of staying focus on just my relationship with God and his plan for me. I have been praying hard to just ignore them and most times I have been doing well.

 One of the things that I have been doing is reading, Praying for your Future Husband by Robin Jones Gunn & Tricia Goyer. (I have always loved reading Robin Jones Gunn since my mom gave me the first volume of Christy Miller books one Christmas). When ever I feel weak or need to give up on this little crush and think about the true guy for me that God has plan for me.The book gives prayers and helps me understand more what to pray for. This is the verse below is one of the verse they use in their book.

 "Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up." Luke 18:1

So now anytime I have problem with the second thing I crave the first thing. I am still waiting for my car to be fixed but in the end the time I spent with people that I would have not if I had my car. I am also very much thankful for the people giving me rides.

Comment Below... I would also love if you Prayed for me in this journey. Also Enjoy the snow...

Love,
Sister Evynn
P.s. The only really upside for liking a new guy is the poetry bug has struck again. Check it out! My Poetry Profile

Time Flys by

You know that feeling when yesterday was last week or even last year. I have been doing some reflecting and moving through out the days. A lot has happened since I last blogged.

Some answers to those nagging question people always ask.

1. Are you getting along with your roommate?
1. but my roommate graduated and is getting married while I am incredibly excited for her. I also get to be in her wedding in less than two weeks. I miss having that friendly loving presence around. Positive outlook they are not moving out of country, state, or city any time soon. 
2. So I am getting used to a whole new roommate. I have been lucky up to this point in having friends that put up with my wild behavior when I have been in all day and they come in and I scare them.
2. Have you been going to church?
1. Yes I have. I have been attending Capitol Hill Church of Christ in the south side of Oklahoma City. I love it there. I have also been volunteering by teaching 11 & 12 year old girls that worked with this summer. I love them but they are girls who are on the brink of adolescence and because that can be a test of patience. 
2. Another reason I love Capitol Hill is all the kids. The church has a ton of kids that you watch grow up and who thirst for more knowledge.
3. There are also a large group of adults who all come and help that all love the kids. We all get along because we share a passion for the kids and the church. 
3. How is it on the boy front?
1. Well there is no one in the picture and I haven't been in the dating scene. 
2. However, I have been focus on me and God, waiting for his time....
3.  You could say Jesus is my boyfriend in the strangest of terms like a nun says.
4. My favorite thing about Oklahoma City?
1. I love how God is moving in the city. To me at least the Devon Tower is a candle in the light sky saying "God we are here. Your children are in need of your presence."
2. From where the city has been to where it is moving to makes me so happy but I know his work is not done and I want to be part of God's mission not my mission but God's
1. School is good. 
2. I really enjoy most of my class and I really enjoy spending times in the bible building and being surrounded by other Mission and bible majors. There is a really cool group.  

Here is my catch up Blog post I will try to get back on soon to write some more but here are some thoughts.

-----Evynn

Scrapes on my face are a BLESSING.....INDEED

Scrapes on my face are a BLESSING.....INDEED and a new lesson about myself.

It all started on Friday morning. Before 11:00 am I was just a regular girl in less an hour I would become a girl with scrapes on her face. I went to babysit as usual, went to chapel with Jessica and after this MJ asked us to go to lunch with her but disappeared. We went down the stairs of Scot's Chapel and stopped in the forum to wait and watch the chapel rush disappear. Giving up we walked up the stairs closed to the caf and walked past the doors and that's when I tripped. I don't remember what happened for sure but I remembered that right before it happened I was watching my Children Ministry Majors walk in to the student center.

Jessica got me and help walk a dazed me into the student center straight into the bathroom where I put some cleaned up the freshly skinned forehead and nose. We stopped at the grill for a water bottle and Jessica's food. I had decided I wanted sonic. On the way to my car we found MJ and she came with us. To speed up I got my Sonic and sat while I ate in my spot in the bible building.

I posted this picture on Facebook.



There were a lot of comments and a lot of questions. I went to class that day. My mind was all there but the pain was sharing the its presence. Some people were shocked that I went to class that day. My only explanation is that I really is that I need to be around people. 
The story was that I got in a fight with MJ at least that what was going around the corner. 

Later that day, I checked my Facebook and I saw these comments by family members. Ryan's comments is very much like what my Dad told me any time I got hurt on something. My Dad would pull me on his lap and tell the spot I fell over or "hit shame on it" for let me getting hurt. It was a blessing and a nice blast from the past

When I got back to my apartment. I end up passing out on my couch because I am tired emotionally
and physically.

Fast forward to the next couple days, scrapes on my face are hard to miss people have been asking me what happened.

On Saturday was a family reunion that I did not know about till that morning... "The Watson Family Reunion" MY dad's mom's side. I went and I am glad I went. I spent have the time laughing the time at Bob Bob.

I went to church on Sunday and answered the questions. My favorite response in CHill to my face was, "Whose this boyfriend that I need to talk to?" which I responded to "I don't have one and the concert"

Sunday was also the start of the lectureship. My face end up being a conversation starter with people. I was sitting and walking back forth from the Wishing Well OC booth. In one of my journeys back to my car and my apartment I stopped by the EEM Table because I really love the work that they are doing there. I spoke with him about Ukraine and he asked me about my face. Another thing that stood out to me is, "I saw you before and wondered."

I told him what had happened about how I face planted. I shared a story with him that I once face planted after crossing the road in Gorlovka, Ukraine. However that curb was much larger than the one I tripped over in this case. He told me, "No more face plants." Which I replied to, "I'll try not."

These marks on my face have been giving me a chance to talk to people. It has been a conversation starter in itself. When I was sitting at the Wishing Well booth and people are walking around the booths they may stop look at the merchandise on the table then up at me. The marks on my face were sudden and surprising to the people then they would stop and ask what happened then I would try to turn back to something on the table.

One of the nights I do not remember which night I had unbelievable pain in my knee from the bruise that is on my knee from the fall.

This is the blessing side of it. The reflections will be below after I finish the narrative.

Monday, I woke up with the sniffles and went to babysat for Body and Soul and the Lectureship. I was getting to babysit from 8/9 to 12 pm longer than I done on a Monday morning. I really enjoyed it. I got to see a baby/toddler that I really enjoy however he was slightly fussy.

I went to the caf got my box of food and ate in the bible building. I enjoyed my time with my friends The bible building is my favorite place to be cuddling with my peeps. I am safe. When class time came I went and then enjoyed time outside in the bible corner and got a doughnut. After that I went back to my room curled up on my bed and watched Reign (the CW show).  I stopped to watch Breakfast at Tiffany's for the quiz in History of Motion Pictures. Great movie.

I went to the lectureship that night at 7 pm to listen to Doug Peter speak and the Panel. After that I chatted and took down the Wishing Well booth. I also helped carry things for a friend and traveled back to my apartment. I slept on my couch that night but stayed up watching Reign (addictive).

The next day, Tuesday, I woke up with sniffles again and started my homework but I was exhausted. Trying to move my body off the couch was a long process. I ended up falling back to sleep skipped my first class and I was going to go to my second class.

When the time came around for my second class. I could not get up and moving around my body had it. My body told me, "you have worked us to the core you like to go go go. We can not take anymore" I finally started moving about but slowly when I gave myself time to rest and I went in small little burst. I had to take down the booth because of the end of the conference, pick up a package, and do laundry.

I was walking back from getting my package and I saw the EEM guy again but he was packed up in his car. He drove up to me and rolled down his window and said, "No more face plants." I smiled and replied, "I'll try not to,"then wished him goodbye.

At Wishing Well later that night I got a chair from one of the graduate classrooms. The comfy grey ones that roll so I could move it around in the front of the room. There are parts of the meeting that I were on my feet and I was running into things and almost falling over again. Jessica would say "please don't fall" or "oh your poor knees." I think we accomplished something at the meeting though. I am thankful for them.

Just before Wishing Well, I wrote notes to people in my life telling them things that had been pressed on heart. Even early in that day I was surprised in some of things I wrote as the Holy Spirit took control and worked in my life as she has all week in all these instances of this week and my life as a whole.

The chair that I had taken from one of the graduate classrooms was not taken back by me. I was taken back in it. Philip pushed me in the chair at a running pace back to the classroom to the chair, rightful spot. I got up from the chair and moved to the comfy couch cushion outside the door and waited till the rest came out. I stole Philip's phone and ended up disabling it trying to unlocking it. It was funny watching him freaking out over trying to figure out where he placed it.

And today on Wednesday, a child said my scrape on my face looked like a, "fish."

Reflection Time.... Please listen to this song as you read this section of the blog on repeat if you may.

A few weeks before I face planted into the concrent. I been feeling very alone and dragged down by the devil and his demons. I also felt a little bit forgotten about but that was mostly my fault because I was in my apartment and I never texted any body to do anything. Invitation unfilled or never gotten back to me.  In the same time I have had the Noah Soundtrack in my car playing. This is my favorite song on the album. It is a reminder that my pillow is not just soft as cloud but his arms and his chest as my Father who created me.

Ever since my little trip I have been embraced everywhere I have been with people asking me how I am doing or commenting that my face is doing better. The scrapes on my face gave me an a point to stand out when I feeling very unnoticed. What I am saying is God pushed me over for my face to get scraped and my knees to be bruised. For me to learn a few important lessons.

God tends to do this to me when I have been rushing around do to many things at a time and I am thank for that. He makes that I have to physically slow down with some physical injury. Tuesday was my personal day of slowing down and praying for strength to get through the healing process. I am learning that I cannot expect myself to everything all day after a tramua of tripping over something. Body needs to heal. So I am becoming more stationary and using my mind less than my leg. You could say I am lazy person but I have been hurting this last week with physical pain. God can heel my Physical and Emotional pain for he is my rock. I love my community.

Please pray for me to heal and regain strength and I don't wear myself thin.

To end my long blog here is a passage from Psalm 62:7-9 (NRSV):
"⁷ On God rests my deliverance and my honor;
    my mighty rock, my refuge is in God.

⁸ Trust in him at all times, O people;
    pour out your heart before him;
    God is a refuge for us.Selah

⁹ Those of low estate are but a breath,
    those of high estate are a delusion;
in the balances they go up;
    they are together lighter than a breath."

Good Night,

Love

Sister Evynn

Goals for the summer

T-shirt The link beside takes you to a booster for raising money for my internship this summer. The design is amazing.  You can see them on the right and the left. Designed by Hailey Keele. (My best friend from elementary and beyond till heaven may we party.)

I love my job

Right now I am only training but I have a pretty cool job. I am getting paid to build relationships with the other interns and our bosses.  While we also learning about the environment we are going to be working with. 

The people I work with are godly christians young ladies and "men" (I am just joking) along with Melia, Amanda, and Matt (the best bosses).  I will tell stories a little further down however I need follow the title of the blog. 

My Goals for the Summer

• Connect with the kids
• Learn to Trust God 
• Let him have control 
• Face my Fears
• Talking in front of people
• Being in charge
• Driving a ton of people
• Being alone and teaching
• Losing Weight
• I have done yoga two nights in a row (ow! I may feel that in the morning)
• Make lasting relationships with Brothers and Sisters

Fear Conquering Stories

Over the last few days we have been doing drive training for the 15 passenger vans. The insurance has a policy of being 21 to drive the vans. This was something told me in the interview and I was less than thrilled. 

So when Matt asked me to drive, yesterday, the bus full of the rest of the interns.  Before I stepped into the driver seat I prayed and asked for strength and you know what (???) driving was not so bad. I had a great navigator thou.

Today we were driving on the highway.  It was all well and good. Part of me drove slower than the speed limit because of nerves and because sometimes I can have a lead foot (it may in the genes (just kidding)).  Two moments while I was on the highway Matt changed the location of where we're driving (slightly frustrating but more practice).  When we finally got to our destination it was Sonic so that was a fun bonding experience. 

Tomorrow, I have to give a short devo for the group before our training.  I am a little nervous but I think I am going to let God teach me as I talk. For my voice is his.

Good night guys,
Evynn
P. S.  Another Tshirt link below. The booster ends June 2nd and shirts are $20 with a $5 shipping fee. Don't make any excuses three have been bought already! Buy one for your family if it is getting shipped to the same place for only 5. God is Good, He will provide. Love you all.
You know you love God's Mission! Please by a shirt! Love Evynn